In spring 2011 I bought a pair of gorgeous black patent leather heels I could barely afford but truly loved.
At the time I was a chronic over-shopper, over-spender and worst of all I consumed lots of disposable, throwaway fashion. Unbeknownst to me, those £175 shoes, which had cost more than four times what I was used to spending on high heels, were the beginning of my journey towards minimalism. This was in 2011, long before the brilliant Marie Kondo came into most of our lives so my journey was a serendipitous leap into the unknown.
Those heels were so comfortable, so versatile and so beloved that for the very first time in my life I no longer felt compelled to aimlessly browse online and in-store for shoes I wanted but didn't need. I still shopped for lots of other things but no longer shoes. Rather than miss the buzz of shopping for the next perfect shoe, instead I felt a sense of satisfaction from knowing that I had the perfect shoe for me.
Around five years after wearing the patent black heels to every formal event I attended I realised that I had not bought a new pair of heels in years and, more interestingly, when I asked my fashion conscious family and friends if they had noticed I was wearing the same pair everywhere, they were astonished and confessed that they had not noticed at all. Thus, it was confirmed for me that there really was no need for me to keep buying new shoes for each outfit and each event. Instead, I should focus on having my ideal, or close to ideal, item and then love and cherish it. This crucial revelation led to me thinking; what else could I stop buying?
“It's unwise to pay too much, but it's worse to pay too little. When
you pay too much, you lose a little money - that's all. When you pay
too little, you sometimes lose everything, because the thing you
bought was incapable of doing the thing it was bought to do. The
common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot - it can't be done.”
- John Ruskin
Contrary to some minimalist advice I did not immediately clear out my wardrobe and limit myself to wearing black and beige only. Instead very gradually, over the last thirteen years, I began to think more about if I truly loved an item before buying it. I invested in better quality items which I believed I would love for a long time. Rather than making constant impulse purchases I focused on the type of grown-up I wanted to be and thought about which purchases would aid in that vision. This means I still hoard books (digital and physical) and I still own more clothes than I would like to, although it is far fewer than before, but, crucially, I only buy and keep in my life items which I believe will help me get to who and where I want to be.
Buy Less, Choose Well, Make it Last
- Dame Vivienne Westwood
So, as I reflect on what is now over ten years since my purchase of the LK Bennett shoes which changed so much for me here is a quick list of ten things I have learnt in ten plus years of working towards minimalist and intentional living.
1. It Can Take Time
There is a perception amongst some people that in order to be a minimalist you must completely declutter your entire wardrobe, living space, book case etc in order to create one of those stereotypically aesthetically pleasing minimalist homes. This simply is not true. Transitioning from a cluttered life to a simplified life looks different for everyone. You do not have to get rid of everything you love, just the things which do not serve you.
2. It Is Not Just About The Stuff - Do The Internal Work
Minimalism should not be about stuff alone. Explore why you own so much and if it was bringing you happiness. Explore your relationship to shopping, consumerism, the need to impress strangers, anything which made be at the root of your feelings of owning too much. For more on this topic I recommend The Afrominimalist book by Christine Platt.
3. It Is An Ongoing Process
There is no such thing as completing your minimalist journey. It is an ongoing process. Ideally you should constantly re-evaluate what you want to have in your life and decide what, if anything, needs to be decluttered.
4. Everyone's Minimalism Looks Different
There isn't only one way to do this. Do not be put off by images of sterile, virtually empty modern apartments in white and beige. Minimalism can be however you want it to be and look however you want it to look. You do not have to be completely minimalist in every aspect of your life - I am far from minimalist when it comes to books. Stay true to yourself.
5. The Less You Have, The More You Love
The biggest revelation for me of approaching my buying in a more minimalist manner was that the less I own, the more I love what I do have. In part because I only leave behind my most favourite items and because now that my spending is more intentional I only buy things I really love.
6. Maybe You Will Spend More
If you know that you are going to own fewer items, inevitably what you do have will have to work harder and therefore needs to be durable. Thus minimalism can require you to spend more than previously on individual items. However, by only owning one of each and getting good use out of it, overall you might find yourself saving money.
7. Your Family and Friends Don't Have To Join In
This can be an individual journey. It is not necessary for your close family and friends to join in. Naturally, it can be helpful but it is far from crucial. So long as you inform them that you would prefer experiences rather than physical items as gifts or would appreciate if people helped you to declutter your home by accepting items you would like to donate, that is helpful enough.
8. You Can Still Have Fun
Minimalism should not feel like a chore or a punishment. Don't make it hard for yourself. Take your time and think of it as a way to make your life happier rather than without things. It can also be enjoyable to see your bank account rather than your home fill up.
9. Digital Minimalism Matters Too
One of the most cluttered parts of our modern lives which is often overlooked is the digital aspect. While going through your minimalist journey it is important to remember that digital decluttering matters a lot swell. An overflowing inbox, subscriptions to newsletters you no longer have interest in, social media account notifications, all of this can contribute to your sense of overwhelm. Approach digital minimalism in the same way you approach other forms of minimalism and for a better deep dive into this topic I highly recommend the work of Prof Cal Newport particularly his book Digital Minimalism.
10. Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself
As cliche as it may be to say; it is a journey not a sprint. So do not be too hard on yourself if you find yourself buying lots of new clothes one Saturday afternoon or a bunch of cushions for the spare bedroom. It is impossible to find your perfect minimalist vision overnight. Just keep working to improve in increments and if you find yourself back to old habits, don't beat yourself up about it. Just keep trying. Life is about working towards our goals, not about waking up one day with it suddenly all figured out. Enjoy the process, enjoy the journey.
This concludes a few of my insights into the joys of minimalism and living more intentionally. I am by no means exactly where I want to be and definitely not any kind of poster child for minimalism but I can vouch for the many positive ways in which this approach has truly enriched my life. Less is more.
Minimalism Resources
// Afrominimalist
// Cal Newport
// Shira Gill
// Audrey Coyne
// Signe Hansen Glud
